Capturing everyday memories before they fade

There’s a photo of my son and me I love from when he was about four. We’re at the park, his hair is wild from the wind, and he’s laughing so hard his eyes are almost closed. I remember the day being happy, but if I’m honest, I can’t recall what was so funny. The moment itself has blurred, even though the picture is still clear.

That’s the thing about memories: they don’t always stick in the way we hope they will. The big milestones are easy to remember... first steps, first day of school, birthdays. But the smaller, everyday moments? They’re the ones most likely to fade, even though they’re often the most precious.

Why everyday memories matter

Psychologists call them “micro-moments”: the small interactions that build connection and shape how we feel about our relationships. It might be a shared joke, a bedtime conversation or the way your child still reaches for your hand when you cross the road. These moments tell the real story of our lives, but they rarely get recorded. My son who is now 8 years-old, held my hand on the way home from school today (he will probably read this later and kill me)... but I loved every moment of holding that little hand and reminded myself to capture that down in writing so years later, I can remember my baby still holding his mumma's hand, even as a big 8-year-old. 

The danger of waiting for “important”

When we think of memory-keeping, we often wait for a special occasion. But by the time we decide to write things down, the details have already started to slip.

• What exactly did they say that made you laugh?
• What song were they humming under their breath?
• What was the smell in the air that made the moment feel so alive?

Without a place to capture those sensory details, they fade into a vague “Oh yes, that was lovely”...  which is nice, but not the same as being able to relive it.

How to hold onto more of them

1. Keep a shared journal
A Pass-Back Journal with your child creates a safe home for these little memories. You’ll be surprised how often they mention things you didn’t even notice in the moment.

2. Write in the present tense
Instead of “We went to the beach last week”, try “The sand is hot under our feet and we can hear the gulls fighting over a chip.” Writing it as if it’s happening helps your brain lock it in.

3. Capture one detail a day
You don’t need paragraphs. One sentence about something that stood out is enough to bring it all rushing back later.

4. Let your child be the historian
Ask them to write or draw something from their day. Children often notice completely different details, which means you get a richer, more complete memory between you.

Why it’s worth it

Years from now, you’ll open your journal and be transported, not just to the moment itself, but to the season of life you were in together. You’ll hear their little-kid voice in your head. You’ll remember what mattered to both of you. And you’ll be glad you didn’t wait for a “big” moment to write it down.

The truth is, the everyday moments are the big moments. We just don’t always realise it at the time.